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Royal condoms introduced as Souvenirs for the royal UK wedding

royal crown jewls

Crown your lucky Charms with a Royal Condom of Distinction that was produced in special celebration packs that bear the slogan: "Like a royal wedding, interaction with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion". These wonderful forms of royal protection are a triumvirate of regal prophylactics, which are lavishly lubed and regally ribbed. Undoubtedly the quality is such as made for a Duke but fit for a King or perhaps I have mistaken that for sizing, King sized down to Baron sized.

England boasts some of the finest lovemaking in the world, with a tradition of coitus going back generations, lovers are told. This is a cheap swipe to make money. Combining the strength of a prince with the yielding sensitivity of a princess-to-be, the Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Is Buckingham Palace in frenzy over the Royal condoms being introduced as souvenirs for the royal UK wedding?

All manner of predictable unofficial souvenirs such as tea towels, chinaware and postcards have been rushed out by manufacturers, with condoms now joining the ranks. Hugh Pomfret, a spokesman for Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction, insisted they were “a unique way to remember this great British occasion”.

 Presented in regal-looking purple and gold, each pack bears a picture of the couple gazing into each other’s eyes, saying it contains a “triumvirate of regal prophylactics”, which are “lavishly lubed” and “regally ribbed”.

The manufacturers stress that they are not supplied to or approved by William, his fiancé or the royal family. It also includes a drawing of the couple as they might appear on their wedding day, produced by an acclaimed international artist, who is not named.

Smiles from happy royal couple

Prince William is set to marry his sweetheart Kate Middleton on April 29 2011 at London’s Westminster Abbey. The Monday after the wedding, May 2, is already a designated bank holiday; and the previous weekend is Easter, which also has two bank holidays on the Friday and Monday. The timing of the wedding will mean there will be two four-day public holidays, two weekends in succession. The Prime Minister said "We want to mark the day as one of national celebration - a public holiday will ensure the most people possible will have a chance to celebrate on the day.

Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far. Ingrid Seward, editor of the royal-watching Majesty magazine, told The Sun newspaper: “This is completely tasteless and really rather hurtful.” Buckingham Palace declined to comment.

Military helicopter pilot William, second in line to the throne, is to marry his university sweetheart Kate Middleton on April 29 at London’s Westminster Abbey. Critics have dismissed the novelty condoms as “tasteless”, however, that may spark the idea to add flavoring and offer more variety. Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is producing special celebration packs that bear the slogan: “Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”.

While Britain has a public holiday to celebrate Prince William’s wedding, one company is taking the party one step further with souvenir condoms that urge lovers to lie back and think of England. The facial resemblance is not overwhelming but the pose and outfits seem styled on the official engagement photographs. In years to come, they will be a timeless memento of a magical wedding day.

flavored fun

"This is completely tasteless and really rather hurtful.” Other Critics have dismissed the novelty condoms as "tasteless" but none shall fear as they can certainly add flavoring such as raspberry, strawberry, cherry and even royal banana, if so inclined. Being in the spotlight comes with certain baggage and being the butt of jokes or monetary opportunity is nothing new and Prince William I am quite sure will smile at the humor.


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