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Thursday August 21st 2014 | 

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Gun safety experts failed women shoots her boy friend in the nuts and herself in the knee

It looks as though gun safety experts and instructors have failed somewhere as woman shoots herself in the leg and boyfriend in the testicles. There must be a reason for all these mishaps.

Woman misses mice shoots self and boyfriend

When Mice and women meet, Mice safe, male nuts not safe

A while back I was reading an article about a woman who shot herself while attempting to rid her mobile home of mice. It seemed the 43 year old woman; we will call her Annie, set out with good intentions although using her .44 Magnum pistol was a tad over kill.

She some how dropped the loaded gun which fired when it hit the floor. The bullet went through her knee, struck a set of keys hanging from a 42 year old mans belt loop. I can’t remember the man’s name but we will call him Bubba. Any way, after the bullet passed through Annie’s knee it hit Bubba’s stylish belt loop hanging key chain. The bullet then traveled south hitting him in the nuts before coming to rest inside his pocket.

Amazingly no mice were harmed, go figure.

Just recently I was reading another story which was similar, of man going to Lowe’s Home Improvement store and ends up shooting himself in the testicles.

man shoots himself in nuts inside lowes

Man vs. Duct Tape, battle claims man's left nut, tape escapes unharmed

Apparently the unnamed man, which we will call Booby Joe, armed himself before entering the wilderness of Lowe’s by sliding a handgun in his waist band. He then sets out hunting for some elusive rolls of Duct Tape. One can only assume that he startled some sleeping rolls of duct, which in turn attacked him. Some time during the struggle Bobby Joe accidentally shot himself in the nuts.

The loud noise scared consumers inside the store and obviously the loud bang was enough to run off those attacking rolls of tape also. The police came and secured the area to ward off any further Duct tape attacks and assessed the condition of BJ, who not only shot his testicles but also his leg and foot. Bobby Joe was taken to the hospital and there were no reports of any rolls of tape being harmed during the incident.

After reading countless painfully funny stories such as these, while doing research here at the weird mag, I’m left with one question. “Who’s teaching these people gun safety?” It is pretty obvious something has gone awry.

No worries though, as my question was answered just this morning. Seeing as how Bubba’s pecker is on the mend and all, he felt the need to send me an email in defense of his fair maiden’s gun handling abilities.

His message was as follows

“I want you to know my woman is skilled with her magnum, even though she shot me in my nuts. She is trained with guns by DEA (Drug Enforcement Agents) the very best experts. The DEA gun class is experts because he said so. I’m sending video so you can see how a hand gun expert teaches gun safety. Even though he shoots his own foot in front of the class, the expert teacher is the best, because he said so.

I hope you enjoyed the expert advice, please let your readers learn from these DEA experts also.”

Sincerely,
Bubba


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